


I Ruined My Manicure For This

by The Raven (theravenyesthatone)



Series: Crackfic Nonsense [2]
Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: F/F, Nonsense, Other, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:47:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25709185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theravenyesthatone/pseuds/The%20Raven
Summary: Okay kids, I found these two stories. They will make no sense AT ALL unless you find and read others. This is from over a decade ago when DWP had several thriving JL communities. As I wrote these nonsense things, I though it only appropriate that I include them here. I'm glad I saved them...I suppose one could say that the purpose of these crazy things was to exercise writing muscles and laugh and form a community spirit. Do read the preface to the stories in the body of the text.
Series: Crackfic Nonsense [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1864567
Kudos: 6





	I Ruined My Manicure For This

Movie: The Devil Wears Prada  
Title: I Ruined My Manicure For This  
Author: The Raven  
Pairing: Mirandy  
Summary: Crackfic - Miranda ruins her manicure...  
Rating: R  
Spoilers: No.  
Disclaimer: They are not mine, I'm just rubbing them together to see what happens. The story however, is mine...  
Beta/Proofing: pdt & bed  
Notes: In response to a can't find a fic thing on the DWP Comm. No one could find it, so I decided to write it. Can't leave the fans in need... How do I know so much about porn, you ask? I have lots of older brothers, and was good at finding things. Do the math. ;)

**I Ruined My Manicure For This**

**Scene One**

"Andrea." The deadly voice cut through Andy's musings, bring her back from the brink and forcing her to focus on her surroundings.

"Miranda?" Andy squeaked in a most unbecoming fashion. I mean seriously, what woman over twenty-five squeaks. Use some lube, for Christ's sake. (Someone make that a bumper sticker: Lube up for Christ)

"What are you doing, Andrea? You're blocking traffic. I don't have time for this." Miranda's icy tones made Andy shiver, and it was not because of the temperature.

It was obscenely hot and the whole scene was making Andy's shirt stick to her in a pornographic fashion, never mind her hair which had a freshly-fucked look about it as well. Miranda had asked her a question though: What was she doing?

"Well you see. I came to this bridge, and I had an idea, and I am trying to see if I can do it." Andy started saying. Miranda pursed her lips in displeasure and Andy felt her cunt lips purse in reaction. (I had to teach my spell checker the word cunt. I mean wtf? Lame!)

"Nonsense. Whatever plan you have will fail. Now come here and let's dispense with this nonsense. I have an air conditioned limousine and chilled water sweating in an erotic fashion in the ice bucket." Miranda enunciated pertly.

All that was missing was some cheesy porn music from a 70's porn flick. As it happened, an ice cream truck trickled by like molasses in December. Except if you were in the Southern Hemisphere, then it would be June. Unless you were in one of those extremely hot countries, then never mind. Use some other simile and leave me alone!

Anyway, the ice cream truck had a cheery little tune that was being played on a broken speaker, making it slower than it should be. If Andy closed her eyes, she could almost imagine bushy bushed women and horse faced men with moustaches fucking along in full blown (pun intended) technicolor.

Andy realised her train of thought had been derailed and that Miranda was looking impatient. A thrill ran up Andy's spine. Perhaps Miranda's proposition was better than the one that she was contemplating.

Swinging her leg in a very unladylike-but-hot manner over the railing, Andy hurried over to where Miranda was and quickly got into the car. With a curt nod of her head, the driver put the proverbial pedal to the metal, and they were off...

  
**Scene Two**

"What were you thinking?" Miranda hissed as she poured cool water for her sweating erotic assistant. No, she had not just thought that; she had meant ex-assistant.

Andrea took the water and unhelpfully splashed it down her cheeks as she drank from the glass in huge swallows. The cool water traced a path from her mouth down her neck and the it vanished into her shirt. Her white shirt, which was now wet. Miranda could see dark areolas. (Areola is not a sexy word, I mean it sounds nice, but it is not like breast or nipple. Sigh, what is a writer to do...)

Miranda took a deep breath and attempted to calm her nerves and her salivating. The breathing did nothing to calm her throbbing crotch though. (Crotch is also not such a cool word. Sounds like crochet, brings to mind little old ladies knitting groins, or something.) Andrea opened her eyes and looked at Miranda with her large brown eyes, a perplexed look in her face.

"I was going for a swim. It was so hot that I was going crazy and I just had to do something to cool off." Andrea said as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, adding to her fuck me now look.

"Going for a swim?" Miranda spluttered, despite herself.

"Yes. What did you think I was doing?" Andrea asked as she carelessly discarded her empty glass into the bucket of ice and moved closer to Miranda.

She smelled of sweat, heat, skin and New York City. Normally Miranda would have cringed, but now she just wanted to lick Andrea's skin. (I just can't seem to help with the erotic stuff, even in my crackfic.) Impulsively, Miranda reached out to touch Andrea, feeling her fingers slide along her sweaty forearm.

This was starting to feel like a soft porn flick. Andrea was all angles and curves and in the soft light caused by the tinted windows of the limo, she looked divine. One just needed a classical music track playing idly in the background and some filters, and it would be quite apropos. 

Miranda shook her head to clear it of the random thoughts just as Andrea reached over and flicked on the radio. Classical music started to play in the background in an understated way. Miranda fought the urge to giggle.

Transfixed now, she watched as Andrea leaned forward and brushed her lips against Miranda's. "Thank's for coming to my rescue, Miranda. I much prefer this method of cooling off." Andrea whispered into their almost kiss.

Miranda supposed that the fact that she was undoubtedly going to ravish her former assistant in the back of her limo, in her townhouse, in her office, and many other locations, had made ruining her manicure worth it...

**The End - (Kiss kiss, bang bang, my darlinks! Feed the bard!**


End file.
